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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Why can't Danzig have a normal lunch box like every other kid?
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02-25-2012 21:42
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Ive been to the good side. The cookies were stale.
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02-25-2012 21:41 by
Reznor
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The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it”
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02-25-2012 21:16 by
Maureen
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What the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH What my kids read: Touch when nobody is looking
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02-25-2012 21:14 by
Maureen
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since mens undershirts are called wife beaters, women should call their brasseirs nut crackers
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02-25-2012 20:50
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sometimes...the nut doesnt fall far from the sack
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02-25-2012 20:32
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Facebook is a major city, Twitter is a vacation spot, and My space is a ghost town.
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02-25-2012 18:40 by
CindyAnn
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Guys note: When a woman offers to help you paint your bedroom ceiling, she means butterflies and flowers using Dutch Boy and a brush.
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02-25-2012 18:36
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Oh, you wear a NORTHFACE Jacket ? You must go on sooo many adventures......
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02-25-2012 18:35
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what's black and white and red all over? A newspaper for people who can't spell well!
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02-25-2012 18:28
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asked by an employee for a raise...so I gave him a baby-booster seat
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02-25-2012 18:25
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called work and called in sick. I was told I cannot as I have taken all my entitled sick leave. I said "No...I meant I'm calling in as sick from work"
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02-25-2012 18:24
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Dear Me, I just wanted to remind you that it's okay to say "No" once in awhile. I'll let you in on a little secret-the world will go on! Love, Me
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02-25-2012 18:19 by
CindyAnn
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Some people in your life are there to serve a certain purpose, well this is your notice your services are no longer needed.
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02-25-2012 18:16 by
CindyAnn
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Why do the people with the worst breath want to hit you with every "H" word in the dictionary?
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02-25-2012 16:58
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When my sons says, "I`ve cleaned my room," that usually means "I`ve made a path from the door to my bed."
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02-25-2012 16:53 by
Maureen
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Laughter is the best medicine... except for treating diarrhea...
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02-25-2012 15:33
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Wanna see if your girl has a real sense of humor? Tell her the ginormous zit under her nose makes her look like Marylyn Monroe!
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02-25-2012 15:21 by
Rush
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Laughter is the Best,,,,,,,,, Way to get the judge to reduce your sentence..☺
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02-25-2012 14:56 by
snotty
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cleaned up friend list..if you see this I guess I missed one!
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02-25-2012 14:54
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