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glee fans all need to be dumped on their own island..they're bringing our species down 
had a threesome last night, usually I only use 2 fingers
inventing little nipples for your texting thumbs
It disturbs me to see how much I say the word "Retard'' in everyday conversations..But never on Facebook where they are abundant.
Trying to decide if its flour or the beginnings of mold on my bread....oh well...nom nom nom
people from india shouldnt be selling hamburgers. I guess cows arent as sacred as the benjamins
a unibrow is just a mustache for your eyes
unibrows...look like birds in flight when in a 'Surprised' mode
Hornrimmed glasses are back..and uglier than ever
Ladies paying thousands for chemical peels...I will splash battery acid on your face for only $500. Look for me on craigslist. Dr. Duracell
We have come so far. Computers, Moon landing, Mars rover, Hubble telescope taking pictures of thing light years away...and yet we still need a sign telling employees to wash their hands.
I can't get the Bananas in Pajamas song out of my head, so I'm cursing you all with it
I carried a really cool hat to school that I rubbed on a licey homeless guy. The school bully just stole it..... :D
I cut my foot and its turning black now, thanks to Mr. Deeds I know this is gonna be cool. If not, I'll go see Dr. Pepper
i think chubby chasers are just lazy people, I mean...really, how far is this 'chase'
running on pills and luck
looks like I'm having pie all day....Thanks to 3-14 or 3.14
rode into town on my horse. not worth it, I had to pick up his poo with a snow shovel and a hefty bag.
signed up for the wrong college courses... apparently I'm a rhinocologist..
toooo many Debbie Downers on facebook...wah, my life sucks, wah, my husband died ,wah, I burned dinner... 