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best place to hide a body, page 2 google search results 
OSHA. Article 260.17 States: All Turds over 6" Long shall be Hand lowered to prevent Chemical Splashback. ......On the Door of a Port-O-John.. LMAO!
It's the saddest thing when someone you know becomes someone you knew.
Like if you remember only having 3 TV channels to choose from and YOU were the remote!
I'm also not a JETS fan,,, but on E-Bay, If I ever see a old, used,, Dirty Sanchez jersey,, I'm TOTALLY buying that too....
I just bought some jokes from IKEA,,,, I'm still not sure how to put them together with this Hex Thingy......
Dr. just told me I have cancer and alzhiemers....atleast I dont have cancer
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife
If cars really exploded as easily as they do in movie's, I wouldn't have made it hope from the delivery room.
Damn Guess it's time to get out of the tub, my phones almost dead.
every episode I've seen of "1,000 ways to die" someone has died cause of something happening to their ass
Practicing your signature over and over again, just incase you become famous.
Everytime a toilet overflows a flushed fish gets its revenge.
oh oh here comes the slutty shorts
I can't believe we wasted star wars technology on tupac
there is no quicker way to separate yourself from god as to judge your fellow man
Turtles are like toasters, if you throw unicorns at them, Dishwasher.
New bumper sticker: If it is against the law for me to follow you home and shove that cell phone up your bum than you better keep your car in your lane!
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill
A good way to breakup with your girlfriend is to introduce her as your ex girlfriend at parties. It softens the blow. 