bego Funny Status Messages

   I'm cleaning out my car today, in case anyone needs 27 half-empty bottles of water.

   I'm think that this Halloween I'm going to scare everyone I know by texting them “We need to talk.”

   Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society

   It's amazing how everyone is suddenly a political genius one month every 4 years

   There is this new awesome technology to do group chats... It's called "put your damn phone away and join the conversation!"

   Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles

   ■Girls wait for the perfect guy: Disney's fault. Guys wait for the perfect girl: Playboy's fault.

   Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing you're life is.

   9.LIKE if you think Jerry Springer should moderate the next debate

   Katy Perry: Blue hair. Nicki Minaj: Pink hair. Rihanna: Red hair. Lady Gaga: Green hair. OMG, the POWER RANGERS are back

   when you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think "they're killing my family, and I'll have to fight the attacker naked.."

   Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing you're life is

   I really want to attract a lot of girls this halloween. So I'm dressing up as a Nutella jar

   The only pain that brings my soul to its knees is hers.

   The slower the kiss, the easier for love to slip through.

   Love is not only for lovers, it is also felt by friends who understand each other more than lovers.

   They should change wording on “check engine” light to “this shit's gonna cost ya

   Everyone pretends to die in front of their dog, just to see how they would react

   You're right, all guys are the same. It has nothing to do with you exclusively dating douchebags

   girls at hooters may be hot. but when it comes down to it, the ladies at subway are the real wife material..