Zack Funny Status Messages

   Think outside the facebox.

   I pay a lot of money to get that vanilla/coco butter smell in my car. I want hookers to feel welcome, not like they're stepping into a death trap.

   I'm not sexist, I'm sexiest, and if I am sexist, then I'm the sexiest sexist.

   To the Gentlemen, I'm Miss Fortune. To the Ladies, I'm Sir Prize.

   ┌П┐(◕‿◕) ┌П┐

   Michael Jackson gets to go to heaven because he was doing things the priest were doing.

   thinking...we would all be naked right now if it wasn't for that darn apple!

   |\\//\\//\\//\\| <-- <y best attempt at creating a piece of virtual bacon for you

   stuck in traffic. Send bacon.

   ‎(_8(l) - D'oh!

   With great power comes a great electric bill.

   Friends touching each other inappropriately makes me a sad panda

   Holy Wars are just arguments about who has a better imaginary friend.

   Dear chicken, please cook yourself and jump into my mouth. thank you

   I wonder if everybody is still Kung Fu fightng.

   Drown in your blood or live in your sht

   When love is not madness... it is not love.

   A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender..... "Ow".

   If zombie's were dyslexic everyone named Brian would be in trouble

   Every time you lick a 9 volt, battery, you lick every person that's licked that 9 volt battery.