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Johnny bravo has taught me a great deal about how to deal with rejection. 
It's the perfect time to replace ALS with Ebola.
A bucket of ice water is no challenge. Now, a bucket of s#it from a portajohn is a challenge. . .
Hello? Yes, I would like to cancel those vacation plans to beautiful Ferguson, MO.
I elect the women in the World with large breasts to support ALS by pouring ice water over yourself wearing a white shirt and no bra. Thank you.
I'm not strong enough to be your man, you weigh too much for me to lift honey. . .
first snow fall of the year I am initiating a naked snow angel challenge to raise awareness of challenges that raise awareness.
I'm sure all the cold water dumping videos have just about cured cancer...
And for my next magic trick, I'll walk down a street and turn into a bar.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my womans hair. It's a nice way to let her know my love,, and also that we're out of napkin
My Hamster passed today,,,, Yeah, he fell asleep at the wheel.... :(
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super badass and hilarious
"Pay attention, 007,,, This might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button,, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."
COP: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"... ME: "So it wouldn't be as windy and easier to hear when we talked?."
I tried to buy a zebra from the zoo and I was told it was not for sale. I said it should be it has bar codes all over it. . .
Wasn't Al Bundy's toilet also named Ferguson?
Not one back to school special on beer. Whatkind of world do we live in.
A Youtube wet t-shirt contest to benefit ALS... I bet the breast cancer marketers wish they had thought of that one...
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you 