Baddie Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If I've learned anything from movies, it's that most murder cases are only solved after a detective is suspended but ignores the suspension.
←Rate | 08-04-2014 14:53 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You just don't know what awkward is until you call out your wife's name while having sex with her sister.
←Rate | 08-04-2014 00:58 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much for the survival kit? Sir, that's an iPhone charger.
←Rate | 08-04-2014 00:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ultimate act of defiance, finishing your FB status update while your Boss waits at your desk!
←Rate | 08-04-2014 00:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, whenever there's trouble YOU seem to be around…officer.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 07:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Ke$ha's parents, €arl and £inda, are super ashamed of her.
←Rate | 08-02-2014 12:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hitchhikers won't kill you if you kill them first.
←Rate | 08-02-2014 12:18 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't even pick up the soap after I drop it in my own shower. There's just something about me I don't trust.
←Rate | 08-02-2014 08:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Question: If men get "c*ck-blocked" do women get "beaver-dammed"?
←Rate | 08-01-2014 09:22 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon some people build walls to see who cares enough to bring them down, others build walls because they’re in the construction industry.
←Rate | 07-31-2014 13:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon “we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
←Rate | 07-31-2014 13:28 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between love and lust is one letter: hotel vs. motel
←Rate | 07-31-2014 01:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was Sharknado made just so they could finish off a reel?
←Rate | 07-31-2014 00:28 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put on my pants just like everyone else around here, reluctantly.
←Rate | 07-28-2014 14:31 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
←Rate | 07-28-2014 14:07 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Social Media, thanks for showing me that I can like people. So long as I don't have to see, touch, or smell them.
←Rate | 07-28-2014 09:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oops, It slipped, wrong hole! But since I'm already here..... - MEN
←Rate | 07-28-2014 09:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon blunt so fat it swims with a shirt on
←Rate | 07-26-2014 12:30 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Strangers who think it's okay to just have a random chat with me is what's wrong with the world today.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 10:45 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not all accidents are destiny, but all girls named Destiny were accidents.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 02:55 by Baddie Comments (0)  



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