Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   filing another notch in the palace of shame

   Never really got OxiClean to work the way Billy Mays could....

   panicking who will keep an eye on Russia if Sarah Palin moves stateside?!

   "no sense beating a dead horse! Unless it's one of those zombie-horses...can't beat them enough!"

   wonders why they put the lime in the coconut

   now friends with michael jackson....oupssss where am I ?

   thinks everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege

   It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.

   thinks Santa Claus has the right idea. Only visit people once a year

   Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head

   just returned from a children's party. She's one of the survivors.

   i haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

   wonders if you can bring sexy back without a reciept.

   if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. .....

   the guy that put the laughter in manslaughter...

   ( . )Y( . ) Boobies!!

   says, Seriously, If you piss me off one more time she'll be forced to give you a papercut in front of Jasper!

   wants a Sunggie made out of ShamWow material

   not on speaking terms with his/her liver.

   planning a night he can't remember!