Funny Status Messages

   All news on Lindsay Lohan a spoiled girl who can't abide by laws. Here are a few worth knowing about: J. Bartett, D. Santos, C. Stanley, J. Reed, M. Johnson, Z. Fisher, B. King, C. Goeke, S. Tate, they gave their lives for you this week, Bless our troops!

   ♥wants you as much as Lady Gaga wants Alejandro!!!!!....Or Fernando!!!!!!......Roberto? ♥Okay maybe this wasnt the best Metaphor but damn its a catchy song

   Has anyone ever noticed how on the facebook homepage before you log in, it looks as if the whole world is connected but Hawaii is not on there? I guess they dont have facebook

   I bet the vampires goes crazy when Bella is ragging....

   I just ate at a restaurant called, "5 guys burgers & fries" the food was great. How come there's only 2 guys working? This is false advertisement...

   if my plunger could talk... i'd offer it a mint

   some people have their baby ruths or their michael jordan or wayne gretzky or dan marinos but my idol is adam from man vs. food.

   i bet you the first club was a barbershop.

   Oppenheimer's famous sentence : That was a big@$$ f*ckin' eXplosion, man !!!

   Mother, I would appreciate it if you didn't use scented laundry detergent, I don't feel like walking around smelling like Fresh Mountain Breeze...

   Wonders if Prince Albert is aware of the piercing that is named after him?

   Ladies that tattoo of the sun rising out of your butt-crack looks great now however when you're 60 it's an octopus chasing a starfish.

   aye Justin Bieber Imma let you finish but Ricky Martin is the best gay singer of all time! All Time!

   A woman should know how to look like a girl, how to act like a lady, how to think like a man." :)

   I saw a girl with "GUESS" on her shirt. I said "fake?". she slapped me!!

   According to my nipples, I'm freezing!

   I wish I could delete all the cookies I ate last night

   My bank just called me because of suspicious activity on my debit card. They couldn't believe I bought a gym membership either.

   I wish I had more middle fingers.

   Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.