Funny Status Messages

   I'm not drunk... I'm just tired from drinking all day!

   I hate when my foot falls asleep... it usually means it's going to be up all night!

   Man tried to hitch on an Airbus by hiding inside the landing tire... people say he was terminally ill! what a turbulent life...

   Actors in India must hate always being type-caste!

   Wonders what flavor Milkshake brings the boys "to work on my yard"

   I heard Cialis has a new spokesman... Randy Johnson!

   Two Irish couples decide to spice up their sex lives by swapping partners.Paddy says "that was great, I wonder how the girls got on?"

   To sum up: yes, I cried like a baby during Toy Story 3, even more than I did at the end of The Human Centipede.

   Papers - Bowl - Crusher = TIN FOIL N FINERS.

   Holy $hit look at Steve Stricker go! If I'm ever golfing and I say I'm at -26, thats not my score, it's how many balls Iost!

   Iron man is a superhero...iron woman is a command

   Hangovers are for people foolish enough to stop drinking.

   efore deciding whether you will stay up all night, you should sleep on it.

   Lady, there is a differnece between "Love Handles" and "Tail Lights"

   The octopus PAUL has predicted it correct yet again. Spain are the Champions. I need to meet this PAUL and ask him to select which girl should I Propose to. It's time I settle for one girl, having 3 girlfriends Sucks bigtime!!

   PAUL the octopus is correct yet again!!! Spain are the crowned Champions!

   Paul the Octopus just got hired by the CIA ...

   likes how YouTube has gone from a video watching site to a music listing site.

   The Netherlands known for "total footbal" more like "brutal football"!

   I have a chef and a dentist here. You realize what this means right? We can finally clear up the confusion over the origin of tartar sauce!