jdpower Funny Status Messages

   Gavin Rossdale has admitted to a gay fling when he was younger.. In a related story, a gay dude admitted to making sh!tty music for 15 years.

   That didn't take long: one of the Chilean miners is already cheating on Jennifer Aniston.

   I wonder if those friends in low places have heard from Garth Brooks recently.

   If you ever see me drinking a Bud Light Lime, I have been kidnapped and am trying to signal you.

   People joke about Bieber Fever. Don't.. Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my grandfather.

   Skipping the new Jackass movie - already saw Christine O'Donnell debate this week.

   NFL Update: Favre Reports Stiffness.

   During Obama's appearance on Mythbusters, Glenn Beck will debut his new Fox News show, Mythspreaders.

   Composeurs pretend to write classical music.

   BREAKING: "Hey, Where Is Everybody?" Says Chilean Miner No. 34

   In honor of Christine O'Donnell, I am designating November as Lack of Awareness Awareness Month.

   There are two types of people in the world - those who have had Dinty Moore's Beef Stew and those who have not.

   Sony announces it will no longer make Walkman cassette players. In other news, Sony was still making Walkman cassette players?

   Sometimes I hear music so bad that I think the government should also enforce a five-day waiting period for buying a guitar.

   "Ugh. I'm never, ever drinking again." - Person who will drink again (starting either tomorrow or the next day)

   A handful of Nigerian scam artists are wrecking it for all the honest Nigerians who want to wire money to us.

   Only 9,000 more lies until Election Day.

   Today is National Oatmeal Day, or as Charlie Sheen calls it, National Cocaine and Strippers Day.

   The Clitaurus is the most mysterious Jurassic-era creature to most male archaeologists.

   "Paranormal Activity 2" - terrifying tale of suburban home that unexpectedly gets possessed by Bank of America.