Funny Status Messages

   Either she's wearing last night's clothes or she had alcohol and shame for breakfast.

   No you must have misheard. I said that the job was "below me".

   Ed Hardy makes condoms now? Fine by me. I think we can all agree that anybody who buys one probably shouldn't breed.

   I wish the rest of me was as tan as my left arm

   I wonder if Snoop Dogs favorite kind of weather is drizzle?

   Apparently a vacation is more important than honoring our fallen soldiers at Arlington....But don't worry, Obama will be back in DC next week to rub elbows with his celebrity friends as they honor Paul McCartney's many accomplishments. Jerk!

   I never make the same mistake twice... I like to fill my day with a wide variety of mistakes from a large number of sources... :)~

   I think its high time we let our freak flags fly..... :)~

   Why do I have this feeling I should be collecting animals two by two?

   When nothing goes right....go left.

   Tap, tap, tap,..is this thing on?. If it is all the same to you guys, can we skip right past Baseball season and move right on up to Football? Just a thought...

   - I was just about to nail some shelves to the wall.....Then I thought, screw it....

   Reagan sent representatives on Memorial to the Unknown Soldier Tomb, Bush Sr, sent Quayle back in 92 so he could play golf. Why aren't you wingnuts protesting your own history?

   Has a new found love for the word F**K... no doubt it will not last, but I will enjoy it while it does.

   You ever seen somebody so damn ugly the government should transfer their birthday to Halloween??....Yeah, me too.

   Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command.

   Wingnut- Definition of a person that calls another individual a wingnut. Get over it!

   Bad friends are like my cum. Sometimes they get in your face. Sometimes they won't get out of your hair....and sometimes they're all up in your a$$!

   if "Fe" on the periodic table of the elements is iron, does that make females iron males?

   My friend pointed out the other day, that the book/film "New Moon" is bassically just one girls choice between Beastiality, or Necrophilia... hope that gives you ladies out there a little perspective on "romance."