Funny Status Messages

   Does anyone besides me think the new Olympic Mascots resemble sex toys?????

   If you must lie about your age, do what I do... tell people you're ninety-seven...they'll think you look freakin great!

   The grass may be greener on the other side, but you'll eventually have to mow it:)

   so I finally got rid of all the FB recommended pages and ADs, Woo Hoo. take that FB

   My life is based on a true story.

   Guess who I saw at the gym today..................................................................DEEEZ NUUTS

   When in roam, watch out for those hidden charges...

   It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts...

   was told that if I have to ask how much something costs, I probably can't afford it. She was right so I moved along.

   Mr. Felipe Calderon, 73% of Americans have a message for you: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

   (̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~ ~ Is Bad For Your Health

   I wonder if I shipped off a couple of Gold Fish to Cash for Gold,, would I get any $$$$?

   As Americans we should fight like hell for the right to draw a picture of Muhammad, but then choose not to.

   If there is a window of opportunity ... why the hell does it knock? Shouldn't it be a door? No wonder so many people miss opportunities. They answer the door, not the window.

   thinkin of sending obama a cabbage patch kid for fathers day not because he plays with dolls tho I thought he could use the birth certificate!

   my fish has just drowned

   Sorry, quoting bible scriptures to me isnt going to convince me. I could quote "Stars Wars" or "Twilight" and it would be just as profound.

   Some people use the power of positive thinking..... others you can be positive that they're not thinking

   I'm petitioning Crayola to replace the "burnt orange" crayon with "burnt snooki"

   Stupid bloody garbage trucks waking me up at noon.