Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Just want to be rich enough to sort by price from high to low.

   If a bottle pops in the club and no one posts an Instagram video of it does it make a sound?

   Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?

   Calm down people who smile for no reason....

   If you enjoy loud wails, eating dinner cold, unexpected slime, and not showering properly for days....Smile! You're a Parent.

   In Jurassic World, they were able to train raptors. Still not as impressive as the Flintstones convincing a bird to be their record player.

   Having more RT's than likes is the social media unicorn.

   Dod you know, Clinton's yoga emails are code for how she got Nickelback's ancestors together on the Titanic lifeboat.

   I'm almost positive that Mona Lisa is smiling because she just passed gas and got away with it.

   .... I think we should all vote for Pedro and all our wildest dreams will come true .....

   This status was written and copyrighted in America, stolen by the Chinese, and re-branded. But I was able to get it for a really good deal on EBay. Just took like a month to get here.

   ... Hey ..... My kid didn't have Child Safety Seats when growing up ... And look how well he turned out!!! He invented the Child Safety Seat and is now worth $187 Million ..... #SmartLivesMatter

   I once thought I would become a vegetarian because of how much I loved farm animals, then I realized how much I loved farm animals and there is no way I would become a vegetarian.

   Just found out other countries like bahamas, Africa and Russia are issue warnings not to travel to the US if you're a black person. When is Syria going to issue there warning?

   Before you are kind to strangers you must be just.

   You win some You lose some You set some on fire.

   Very impressed with the quick action and massive protests by Black Lives Matter in Chicago this weekend protesting the death of 15 young Blacks so far in July. HAHA ... Just kidding .... They don't really care about black deaths in Chicago.

   I made this huge To-Do list for today. Guess my next job is gonna be who is gonna do all this stuff.

   Don't you wish they would invent a Clap-on Clap-off device for some peoples mouths? Well .... Until then I guess the usual "Apply Fist to Face" routine will have to do.

   Being a police officer is an occupation, a choice. It comes with a salary and benefits just like any other jobs. AllJobsMatter