Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Substitute " My ass" for "This girls" on fire and you're welcome Preparation H for your new ad campaign.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 05:58 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked my cat if I'm passive aggressive and she ignored me. I hope I don't forget to feed her tonight.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a person has an imaginary friend, it's crazy. If several people have the same imaginary friend, it's religion.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 09:42 Comments (2)  


   messageicon If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bull crap..
←Rate | 09-03-2015 13:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never underestimate the lawyer of a champion
←Rate | 09-03-2015 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the world is not full of a$$holes but they are strategically placed so you come across several everyday
←Rate | 09-03-2015 14:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “The man who fears losing has already lost.”
←Rate | 09-03-2015 16:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Canadian rockers Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne are separating after 2 years of marriage... which I think is 4.4 after converting from metric...
←Rate | 09-03-2015 17:10 by JaxWylde Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel kinda like that guy in Nirvana whom nobody really appreciates. Not Kurt Cobain or Dave Grohl, the other one.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 17:29 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI: The opposite of Chevy Chase,,,, is Ford Escape.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 18:46 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if Kim Davis wasn’t so patently awful to gay people she could find someone to help fix her hair.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 18:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know a girl is a keeper if she picks the iron when she's playing Monopoly.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 19:04 by gremlinsd Comments (2)  


   messageicon still wondering how would you engineer an electrical?
←Rate | 09-03-2015 21:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you see me at a Baskin Robbins and I have 2 gallons of ice cream in front of me and only 1 spoon... Don't ask me how I'm doing !
←Rate | 09-04-2015 00:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon LOOK MA! NO CHASER!
←Rate | 09-04-2015 13:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people say the bible is the greatest story ever told but I've always been partial to Back to the Future.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 13:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to eat a powdered donut without looking like I just came from Charlie Sheen's house.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:38 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am strongly opposed to a representational democracy.... AND I VOTE!
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:44 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon fell in love on an elevator once and it ended in soul crushing heart break, so, no thanks Aerosmith. No frickin thanks.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at jello. Oh you said hello. Do you have any jello? No? Why are you doing this to me?
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:54 by unknown comic Comments (0)  



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