Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5005 of 5593

   messageicon I was born and raised in the circus, so as a young boy I use to dream of running away from home and joining the suburbs.
←Rate | 07-25-2015 12:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “One shot, one kill, one apology.” - Canadian Sniper.
←Rate | 07-25-2015 12:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't "xoxoxoxo" unless you mean it... I'm not flying to Budapest again...
←Rate | 07-25-2015 12:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
←Rate | 07-25-2015 13:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please.
←Rate | 07-25-2015 13:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I asked you what your "hair" was made out of.
←Rate | 07-25-2015 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t chase after men. I don’t even walk after them.
←Rate | 07-25-2015 15:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone else can have my fifteen minutes of fame.
←Rate | 07-25-2015 15:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you think about it, it's a rather fine line with some between insulting them and describing them
←Rate | 07-25-2015 15:20 by Stormer59101 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to get a song stuck in your head...After midnight, we're gonna let it all hang down...After midnight..After midnight,
←Rate | 07-25-2015 15:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time is the only real enemy......* JK. It’s spiders.
←Rate | 07-25-2015 18:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The stock market continues to go up, and is probably a good place to invest your money if you have any. But as good as it sounds, if I ever get any extra I'm opting for canned goods and ammo......!
←Rate | 07-26-2015 10:16 by Stormer59101 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not sure how I missed this, busy I guess, but Monica Lewinsky turned 42 earlier this week, it seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her knees.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 10:42 by Stormer59101 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't remember how the saying goes, but I think it's Rum before Whiskey, before Vodka, = Heart Palpitations.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 11:10 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying "I'm offended" is basically telling the world you can't control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As others prepare for another exciting college school year. I prepare myself for another 40 hour work week.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 13:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Financial status: Hanging out in front of my favorite restaurant kissing anyone who has food around their mouth and in their teeth.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 14:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
←Rate | 07-26-2015 15:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In reality all girls are crazy so you better just pick your favorite type.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 17:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 18:03 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left