Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon We will spend over 700 million dollars to take pictures of another planet when we have Veterans on our own Planet not getting the care that they deserve. This is a MESSED UP WORLD !!!
←Rate | 07-21-2015 09:40 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Soon it'll be illegal for Americans to have a Confederate flag on the back of their pick-ups. Which will make it harder for aliens to know who to abduct.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 10:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If smoking weed destroys your short term memory, then what does smoking weed do?
←Rate | 07-21-2015 11:01 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waze "Beep Beep" is the new Facebook "Poke"
←Rate | 07-21-2015 11:23 by TJC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine being an adult who owns a stick that holds your phone just so you can be able to take photographs of your face.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 15:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I made up a new word: Ask-hole; Someone who constantly asks for your advise then does the exact opposite of what you told them.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 15:39 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon And BTW Susan,,, When I misplace something and you say "where did you have it last".... I feel like you don't know what misplace means.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 15:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I'm stubborn" like owning a BlackBerry in 2015
←Rate | 07-21-2015 15:44 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon As if people didn't have enough reasons to panic when their doorbell rang... Now we have to worry that it's Ryan Seacrest.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 20:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Burger King mascot, and the KFC mascot walk into a bar.... Everyone leaves because they're so creeped out.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 20:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, I just want to leave everything behind and get hopelessly lost.... *Goes to Ikea.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 20:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon either my mirror is WAY OFF, or I really do look like EVERY "before" picture ever.
←Rate | 07-21-2015 21:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to help a friend get a job but his email is p@ssyeater203. @.....
←Rate | 07-21-2015 22:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never heard of Lindsey Graham... Who is she?
←Rate | 07-22-2015 09:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if Bruce/Catline Jenner goes missing, will they put the picture on a carton of Half & Half?
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Ummmmm...... " ~ The first cow ever milked
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If only there were a free online encyclopedia to answer that for you" ~ Me, way more times a day that I would like.
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walk into a flower shop and ask to see their selction of chlamydias. That never gets old.
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed party, so I invited all of her friends over and made them clean the house.
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So aparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing all wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you have your 6 year old knock it over into your lap.
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:50 Comments (0)  



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