Will Funny Status Messages

   Omg there is high definition paint? People will believe anything. Well I just invented hd crayons, for the low price of 59.99 a box you can watch you drawings pop off the paper.. Idiots

   Worse thing about having a couple ex's in group of friends. I always have to check the attending list on Facebook events before confirming.

   If you purchased $1000 worth of Delta airlines stock one year ago, you would have $49. If you invested it in aig you'd have $33. If you spent $1000 on beer and recycled the cans you would have $214.50. Therefor drinking heavily is your best investment.

   Just saw a bumper sticker that said Distracted drivers crash, hang up and drive. Then I crashed into him because I was reading the sticker.

   The NBA has canceled the first two weeks of the regular season. In a related story who cares.

   I can't wait to see my girlfriends face in 12 days when I tell her I'm done playing black ops. I'm going to let the happiness soak in for about 2 minutes then turn on modern ware fare 3.

   I disliked the Mexican one simply because you put hafta

   I hate meeting super fine on Facebook but pugly in real life girls.

   How much teenagers care about politics. Regular topic: lol wat? Presidential election: meh. Threaten the Internet: it's the most important thing ever.

   I wonder who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian marriage?

   No woman will ever be truely satisfied on valentines day, because no man will ever have a chocolate peni$ that ejacul@tes money.

   Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't meant it either.

   They say you can't make jokes about blind people, just watch me.

   Class reunions are pointless now. Because of Facebook I see all you f*ckers everyday.

   It's national cleavage day. Let's honor this holiday ladies.....

   Cab to go to bar: 30 dollars 4 rounds of beer to get your friend to tell you your ex is now a stripper: 70 dollars The look on your ex's face when you shove a single in her buttcrack: PRICELESS!

   It's 4:20 on 4/20! Do you know where your bong is?

   I hate nerds who coverup their answers. Like come on bro lets work together.

   Has anyone ever noticed the & symbol looks like a man dragging his a$$ across the floor?

   What I like about dogs is you can lock them in the basement over night. And in the morning their glad to see you. Your wife on the other isn't.