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Baddie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 5 of 15
You know you've had a good wank when you have no idea where it landed.
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04-08-2012 12:07 by
Baddie
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Ladies; Never die a virgin, apparently when you get to heaven they make you shag a suicide bomber.
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04-08-2012 12:09 by
Baddie
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What's the difference between Tango and Rohypnol? You know when you've been Tangoed.
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04-08-2012 12:11 by
Baddie
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Ice cream never asks silly questions. Ice cream understands.
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04-08-2012 12:32 by
Baddie
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When Kim heard Lamar got cut by the Mavs she probably texted Khloe the number of her divorce lawyer
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04-10-2012 14:20 by
Baddie
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I've given up begging my girlfriend to swallow. From now on, she can deal with her anorexia on her own.
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04-11-2012 15:05 by
Baddie
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If I had a dollar for every time a woman called me a jerk, I'd buy an iPad.
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04-16-2012 15:45 by
Baddie
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Husband: "Honey, has the postman come yet?" Wife: "No, but he's panting and sweating pretty hard."
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04-16-2012 16:26 by
Baddie
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H.O.E.S = Happily offering everybody sex.
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04-17-2012 14:19 by
Baddie
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Oh, you have read every Harry Potter book? That's cool. So how long have you been single?
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04-17-2012 14:21 by
Baddie
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The Wife has just just had her teeth whitened, although, to be honest, most of it landed on her chin.
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04-19-2012 15:24 by
Baddie
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I often carry a knife round in my pocket, when on days out with the family in the summer. Just in case I see a wasp land on my wife's neck.
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04-20-2012 13:33 by
Baddie
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My wife said to me, "Isn't it odd how on our keyboard the letters ORPN have been worn out?"
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04-20-2012 13:38 by
Baddie
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4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot to reduce their fractions.
70
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04-20-2012 16:18 by
Baddie
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My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra.
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04-21-2012 08:16 by
Baddie
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My wife said that my pen!s closely resembles a Tic Tac. She was proud of her remark until I asked her why her sister still has bad breath then.
197
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04-21-2012 08:29 by
Baddie
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ˆjust sent my ex a picture of my flaccid pen!s. I just wanted her to know I was thinking about her.
41
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04-21-2012 11:47 by
Baddie
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If you lose a fight to a midget, you become one.
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04-22-2012 11:18 by
Baddie
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Did you know if you watch Twilight backwards, it's still sh!t?
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04-23-2012 14:40 by
Baddie
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Man-Flu is more painfull than childbirth. This is a scientific fact*. *(based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
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04-23-2012 14:53 by
Baddie
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