Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   What is an acceptable age to give a kid a Facebook account as a birthday present?

   The best thing about being an Atheist is that no one watches you masturbate, unless you want them to.

   I'm pretty sure Chris Christie isn't running for president. He may be walking briskly, but he's definitely not running for anything.

   Re: "there are only 380 million Americans" .....yes there are.... And we still RULE THE WORLD!!!

   Gay Divorce Court is going to be hilarious.

   My Pinterest account was hacked godammit. As soon as I find out who's responsible, I'm knitting a voodoo doll. No one fcuks with SewEZ2love

   There are soo many Rainbows on Facebook I can taste it- Skittles...

   My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...

   If I owned a theme park I’d name it Three Flags because I’d probably half-ass it..

   Same sex marriage? Hell, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage

   Fox news lied to me. Gay marriage is legal and I haven't married my cousin or my pet.

   Last I checked, the Confederate flag turned white.

   WAKE UP America!!! Are we going to let five UNELECTED dentists decide whether or not we choose Trident?

   We're going to IKEA. I might get a Strömphümpclūmpër, if they haven't got any of those I'll just buy some Płürplöpš and a höööphükïnéll..

   Watching 50 Shades of Grey and O.M.G. My playroom Looks. Exactly. Like. That!

   FLASH floods are just regular floods except they show you their junk!

   Accompanied by girlfriend to a special screening of "Magic Mike XXL" last night. The nudity....The foul language.... The ladies screaming at the top of their lungs. And that was just me standing in line for popcorn....

   Will E.L. James' next book be called "Fifity Shades of Gay"?

   I'm old but not "Change to Channel 3 to play video games" old.

   Did you hear that? That was a g@y man farting without his butplug.