Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Come to think of it,,, I've never found a hair in my food at a Brazilian restaurant.

   “First time caller, long time listener”—Alexander Graham Bell

   The difference between fetish and felony is googling ahead of time.

   When pulling out the a nal beads, never say "And the winning powerball numbers are..."

   Introverts like to have fun too, we just don't care if you know.

   If you ever find me on my death bead, please take me off my death bed and put me in my alive bed.

   If you've every seen someone try to put an old dollar bill into a vending machine, then you've pretty much seen my sex tape.

   If I owned a book store, I'd rename the Romance section "Fantasy", because common ladies....

   Anyone know how many calories you burn an hour scrolling on Facebook?

   Rumors are swirling that Bruce Jenner is in talks with Britney Spears to do a duet of the song I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman

   I hated grade one because my teacher could never remember my name. What made it worse was that I was home schooled!

   Just ordered my poster from Vanity Fair of Bruce Jenner to replace my Farrah Fawcett poster

   A woman can only run as fast as her boobs let her!

   Bruce Jenner can transition into whatever he/she wants to. All I ask is that his stepdaughters are transitioned into the bird $hi+ on my windshield, because I just got a fresh gallon of washer fluid.

   After seeing Caitlyn photos, I'm starting to doubt if Lady Gaga is a drag queen.

   I bet Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are pretty angry with Caitlyn for hogging all the attention.

   Ladies, if Josh Duggar says he "loves you like a sister"... RUN!!

   Look,,, all I'm saying is I've never seen Bruce Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner in the same room.

   Bruce Jenner went from paying $20 to get into the club to getting in for free.

   Someone in my state is wearing Axe Body Spray... ugh, I can smell it from here