Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Phuck the IslamaNazi's.....

   Who do you think uses more pig skin, the NFL to make their footballs or Bravo to make their Real Housewives?

   What's worse than Greese on Oliva Newton John? Come on Eileen.

   I wish I loved anything as much as my dogs loves the food I've been giving him every day, twice a day, for the last 13 years.

   So, they are saying the Washington Monument isn't quite as tall as they originally thought. Or maybe it's just shrinkage from the cold...

   Fellas what if your soulmate is dating a lesbian right now?

   1st sneeze: Bless you. 2nd sneeze: Bless you 3rd sneeze: Get out of my life until you are finished with whatever this is

   Why do baby clothes have pockets? What do they need them for..baby wallets?

   A real man respects a woman. A real woman makes a respectable sandwich.

   I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew

   I hate when Netflix asks if I’m still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?

   All these FB quizzes are just today's horoscopes. BS designed to make women feel important in a man run world.

   50 Shades of Grey beat Sponge Bob at the weekend box office. Sponge Bob could have stayed at number 1 but he refused to remove his square-pants

   My Favorite machine at the Gym is the Television

   I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...

   When I was growing up mom would wake up early to cut my crust off my sandwhich before I went to school, crust was my favorite part- she really hated me....

   There's a person out there for everyone, but for some women that person is 6 cats....

   The black really brings out your eyes- Ray Rice pick up line...

   The first rule of "Stupid Status Club" is start your status off with "The first rule of"

   FUN FACT: People who use the phrase "winner winner chicken dinner" got their education at the University of Pheonix