Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Momma left strict instructions to knock you out

   Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we're camping. With an angry bear close by.

   You'd think there were more UFO sightings with all these action cams and camera phones.

   "Psssssssssssssss" ~ The sound of Richard Sherman's ego being deflated by Tom Brady

   When Missy Elliot asks if he has a big @#$%, I assume she means refrigerator.

   You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"

   I watch my dog sniff the air and I wonder what he knows about this world that I don't..

   anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have

   Struggling to get my arm in this pringles can, so I get it black guys.

   I've just found my first grey pube............Don't think I'll order pizza from there again.

   suge knight out here killin people, wu-tang about to drop a new album, gas under $2.... I feel like a kid again.

   after 16 years of leaving the Patriots, Pete Carroll finally won a superbowl for them

   Gas is under $2 , Missy Elliot played the Super Bowl and Suge Knight just killed somebody again. The 90s are back!

   Johnny Football requests as much publicity as possible during his rehab.

   Bathtubs 2, Browns 0

   What's next TLC...a little people Polygamist family with 38 kids?

   Super Bowl....wtf is that? I only speak soccer and champions league

   Every coach I know took 10 years to graduate from college so no, I'm not surprised by the bonehead play call.

   "Stupid Left Shark takes one misstep during a Super Bowl and now he is famous " - Right Shark(-_-)

   Talk about keeping up with the Kardashians, Bruce is growing breasts. . .