Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Kids: Never tell a stranger where you live. Give them your neighbor's address and watch what happens.

   DAMN!! Obamaphones sure are getting one serious workout these last two nights in Ferguson!!

   If the Ferguson police used THC grenades instead of tear gas, you'd see a much different scene.

   Does anyone know when the Christmas Tree lighting ceremony is set for Ferguson this year?

   I am SO out of the loop. So are Ferguson people rioting because Bill Cosby raped 20 women?

   Well, it looks like Ebola has taken a break from mass hysteria to let us celebrate Thanksgiving.

   So...I'm only going to assume that's it probably not a good time to yell "if it's brown it's down" in public.

   I'm thankful that everyone has finally shut up about this Ebola hysteria to let us all celebrate Thanksgiving.

   Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret...

   By 2050, four out of every five Americans will be a Duggar...

   I can't help but wonder if Bill Cosby's roofies tasted llike a Puddin' Pops.

   Dr. Huxtable was an OB/GYN with an office in his home basement. I mean, come on...

   “It's not up for discussion,” is a thing I say to my wife when I’m absolutely certain I want to spend the next six hours discussing it...

   Dear people jogging with that stupid smile on your face. I know what route you take and I will jump out of bushes and scare that smile away

   Thinking of Black Friday shopping in Ferguson this year. Heard you can grab some really good deals.

   University of Kentucky 2012 Win, Philadelphia Philies World Series Win, Seattle’s Superball Win, when whites went buck wild for the most arbitrary and utterly unjustifiable reasons on earth.

   I fought the law...And the Law won - Mike Brown

   Word of the Day: Eskihoe - A girl that wears UGG boots and a miniskirt at the same time.

   I really like Bill Cosby, but only for his stand up comedy and role as Dr. Huxtible... not for what he did to me in a hotel room.

   I'm really getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I've given the bird to lots of people today.