Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   My 6 year old gave my 1 year old then run down on Halloween. She said, " When we get to the door you have to say trick-or-treat.. that means please in Halloween."

   I suck at creating endings in Essays.. "and they lived happily ever after" is over done, and apparently "seacreast out" is unacceptable.

   My boyfriend is such a treasure, I just want to bury him.

   Almost went to jail today, scared the crap out of me. I don't care who you are, monopoly can get pretty intense.

   Roses are red Nuts are round Skirts are up Panties are down Belly To Belly Skin to Skin When its Stiff Stick It In

   Might as well change name to Boring S tatus Messages for F acebook.

   If you want to bore your friends to death, this is the right place to get your material.

   Side chicks are always more excited about Valentine's Day than everyone else because for them, its as close as they will ever get to a wedding.

   What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back…

   You don't have to be a proctologist to know an @$$h0le when you see one.

   I heard it's no bread, no head. Well ladies, I just picked a loaf up!

   Ignore him and he will go away, simple solution

   If she's special you have to send her a text message to ensure she made it safely to her destination this morning.

   this is just not the place anymore, I'm gonna go pop some pop corn and go watch the movies on facebook!

   Women should just shut up and listen to and do what men say!!

   Ok now the people answerring the idiot are pissing me off!

   Spoiler Alert: Phillip Seymore Hoffman dies at the end of his Facebook movie.

   Does anyone know when Facebook is sending out our W2's?

   I like to punish people who ask me how I'm doing by giving them a detailed description of how I am doing.

   Sorry that changing your hairstyle dramatically didn't fix your life