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Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears just signed a "No Super Bowl for seven more years" contract today 
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he's a lamp...what does he know....
Well I'm planning to do something tomorrow, as long as I have totally finished doing nothing from today. I really like being completely done with nothing which really says something about my dedication to nothing.
If I get their attention negative or positive I accomplished my intent...
People with really bad attitudes should move to Colorado and Be Happy And Worry!
The opinion of one is the opinion of all........
Why was 6 mad when 7 won her a stuffed elephant? Because 711492!!
Look UPS chick, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to always have their pants on, and not to be covered in Baby Oil!!
I got eight inches last night. The snow was pretty deep too.
Thanks to 0bamacare, Americans can expect to earn six figure salaries in 2014. Okay, six figures if you count the decimal point, the zeroes that follow the decimal point, and the dollar sign.
How to lose an argument with a woman. 1) Argue
I can always tell who hates their spouse by how much they post about loving their spouse...
Just drove by an Asian restaurant - Wok n' Roll - well played Chinese people. So crever
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
It's been 25 years and they still aren't sure who framed Roger Rabbit. My alibi is Airtight!
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets. Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets.
Horton hears much better after his visit to the otolaryngologist,,, Though he could have done without the "big ears" comment.
Hey we snowed in today, break out the corny jokees
So far so good. haven't heard anyone use the word SWAG this year.
Welcome to camouflage club. I can see clearly that we have a big turnout this week, which is very disappointing. 