Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I think premature male baldness should be the next race card..
←Rate | 12-24-2013 07:35 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ I'm Dreaming Of A White Isthmus ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ .....(Hey what can I say, I have a thing for snow covered narrow strips of land connecting two larger land areas.)
←Rate | 12-24-2013 08:44 by Critical Mass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twas the morning before Christmas & all across Facebook, friends awake, houses aglitter. Coffee in hand pondering this day & the things that matter.....
←Rate | 12-24-2013 09:38 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog ate your Elf on the Shelf.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holidays are way too commercialized now a days. Please keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas while and your loved ones put up Christmas lights that are currently 75% off at Walmart!!
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only takeSTD test in jail. I like all my bad news atone time
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:34 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye West blows out candles on a birthday cake he wishes it was his birthday, instead of whoever's party he's at.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What about female suicide bombers? Do they also get virgins?
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cat and I vomited together last night. I think I'm some kind of animal whisperer.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:59 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad that money you didn't know you had can survive the wash and dry cycle
←Rate | 12-24-2013 11:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women close their eyes during sëx because they can't stand to see a man having a good time.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 11:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m white but not “I like to watch golf” white.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 11:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days, you just gotta remind yourself "Stab'em below the waist and it's only assault, NOT attempted murder."
←Rate | 12-24-2013 11:36 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, the people outside are frightful. And the traffic, is far from delightful. (blocking my intersection) since they got no place to go. people blow people blow people blow...
←Rate | 12-24-2013 11:58 by Embalmer Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas sure does smell a lot like weed.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try butter flavored pancake syrup, but I'm still putting butter on them!!
←Rate | 12-24-2013 12:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 12:25 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm good once as I ever was.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 13:43 Comments (1)  



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