Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I don't play hard to get I play get away from me you creep.

   I think ppl should make New Years resolutions for NO MORE SELFIES IN BATHROOMS......Seriously.....you and your toilet are not sexy......

   I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you.

   If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera . You attention seeking hoe

   I wrap all my Christmas gifts in bubble wrap.....it's like giving two gifts in one!

   Ladies no amount of alcohol should ever make you go barefoot in the club. You are not Wilma Flintstone

   So Paul Walker was cremated... I hate to point out the obvious...

   If you can sing Jingle Bells without jiggling your "gentleman's sausage" then you're way more mature than me.

   Finally I'm not being harassed by my family or coworkers for listening to Christmas Music. It was rough back in July.

   I've fallen! And I can't reach my beer!!

   MTV has canceled teen mom 3, because they know when to pull out.

   I can't decided if I'd rather see him naked or on fire. Is that love?

   I'm white, but I'm not 'buy a Christmas gift for the Mailman' white.

   Don't forget to put zero effort into everything then complain how you never get anything you want today!

   I don't think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.

   Forgive me father, for I like sin.

   Kanye West said he's the next Nelson Mandela, so when are they gonna bury him?

   When I say I'm off the market, I mean I was recalled.

   I don't want to have any cold that I didn't even get to have sex to catch.

   Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas.