Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Just because nobody gets you doesn't make you an Artist........it kinda makes you a doofus 
The popularity of Congress is at an all-time low, according to a recent poll that says Americans like head lice more than they like Congress. But you know, I think the real story here is that some Americans like head lice.
Why yes, I would like to meet sluts in my area. Thanks for asking Adriana!
How soon after eating lunch is it ok to eat lunch again?
Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."... Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means.
How many selfies does it take to fill the emotional blackhole in a person's life?
If the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence, it could be because that's where the septic tank is.
Healthcare.gov got 99 problems and glitches are all of them...
It's funny how Facebook will suspend me for 30 days if I send out friend requests to people they constantly suggest to me, but it's ok for them to bombard the right side of my page with scantily clad women in my area who supposedly want to date me!
According to Facebook, Jackie Chan has died 486 times. I must admit that is a rather incredible stunt...
Twerking and selfie have been officially added to the dictionary. Future and Optimism have been removed.
I went out clubbing last night. I got 12 baby seals; a new personal best.
Remember when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of 2 small breasts and 2 large thighs. Now, KFC is offering the "Obama Bucket". It consists of nothing but chicken crap.
Nothing makes an 80 year old Grandma from St. Louis cuss like two ballplayers in a World Series Game who simply watch an easy to catch pop fly simply fall to the ground.
I accidently clicked on a picture of Miley Cyrus twerking......and now I think I have an STD
•*´¨`*•.¸¸¸.•*´¨`*• ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>
Here's an idea....maybe Obama can grow a beard until the Obamacare website works
Are the Red Sox supposed to be Amish metrosexuals for Halloween?
The most enjoyable form of the "50 Shades of Grey" is the Braille edition.
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad. 