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I don't even bother to look in the mirror anymore. If I do than I'll see that I should probably shave. . . 
Whose going to the republican victory party at midnight?
I have yet to see a woman who became more beautiful because she got a tattoo.
Obamacare: Emergency Room Physicians have weighed in... "Stop sticking things up your butt... Don't tell me you sat on a toy fire truck!"
Someone give Green Day a nudge...it's October tomorrow....
Good thing my drug dealer delivers rain, sleet or government shutdown......
Will be taking part in the looting and anarchy that's sure to come with tonight's government shutdown......
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
Busting your a$$ is not covered by Obamacare... don't risk it people...
Government shutdown...is that a threat or a promise?
If the government shuts down, does that mean all of the politicians have to get real jobs?
On a dark desert highway,,, cool whip in my hair...
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels, I call them my friends. . .
Damn it!! I wish I had some fireworks for the government shutdown tonight.....
Can't the gov't just call in Jon Taffer and do this shutdown thing right?
The first thing you should do if attacked by a grizzly bear is $hit your pants...okay, it wont help but you may as well make $hitting your pants the first thing to do because that is what's going to happen anyway.
No matter what happens, you can always count on your family. Unless you go on a killing spree...
I heard my new neighbors having sex last night so I rubbed one out. Just met Eddie and Steve this morning...
I can't believe I missed the Breaking Bad finale. And, every other single episode...
I'm glad I live in Kentucky now. Cause when the Gov shuts down the liquor stores will still be open 