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If you can't handle me at my worst....then I completely understand,because I can't either ! 
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.
I feel like pulling a Joan wilder and out drinking a Sot in Cartagena.... anybody? Chirp chirp chirp... crickets really?
RJ... oh you better believe I'm calling that store asking for the film back! I don't know who or what was in those pics but you caught my attention.
RJ.. The tour de France is cool and everything but I think if I was to ever race in it I would definitely come in last not because of my racing abilities but because of my attention span in a beauti...oh wow is that a mom n pop flower shop on the top of t
this grassy knoll?
I just had a "Stand your ground" moment with a black snake in my backyard, I hope the news media doesn't find out about it and instigate more rioting.
If you ever Google Gary Oldman FFS dont forget the "R" !!!!
if you wake up to more animals than humans, I think I know why you're single...
Seriously Rolling Stone magazine? Was George Zimmerman unavailable for the cover?
A Women's work is never done because she's too busy telling a Man how to do his work.
You might have a million dollar body, but you got a food stamp face!
Damn, it's so hot out. the tounges of my sneakers are hanging out.
all the kids wearing hoodies instead of costumes this Halloween are getting skittles, it's what trayvon would have wanted
When you wake up at 3am for no reason, there is an 80% chance that someone is staring at you...
The Lannisters send their regards.
I bet all the living descendants of the Lanisters have great credit!
In this worldline, the lanisters are all dead. The current state of the economy proves it, no one is paying their debts.
do jaffa cakes count as 1 of your 5 a day?
Most atheists aren't angry about the various religions. They're angry about the dangerous people who misinterpret these religions. 