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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I'm running out of reasons not to stab you.
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07-13-2013 14:54 by
equaloppjoker
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i like that you try to compete with me. At least you have a goal...unrealistic and unatainable, but at least its a goal!
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07-13-2013 15:24 by
equaloppjoker
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it doesn't matter if you don't like my personality... I have several more!
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07-13-2013 15:31 by
equaloppjoker
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I feel a spree coming on... Now its up to you.... Shopping or Killing?
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07-13-2013 15:34 by
equaloppjoker
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"Help, I've fallen and can't get up. No, wait! It's comfy down here. Can someone pass me a pillow? And the remote
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07-13-2013 15:36 by
Miladyvictorian
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Thanks for the suggestion, serving size... I've had a good laugh,, and will now make you feel stupid for being so wrong.
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07-13-2013 16:01 by
snotty
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I'm Mandela's grandson and have all his leadership skills , follow me
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07-13-2013 16:06
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Game of Thrones is totally going to win the "Most Unrealistic Pubic Hair in a Medieval Drama" Emmy this year.
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07-13-2013 16:42
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a social drinker. You're having one? Well so-cial I!
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07-13-2013 18:30 by
Miladyvictorian
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Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
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07-13-2013 18:33 by
Miladyvictorian
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Looks like it's probably going to to be a "guilty of manslaughter" verdict. Women are emotional and probably don't want to upset the prosecutor or defense so I predict they will choose a "compromise verdict" of guilty of manslaughter.
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07-13-2013 18:42
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my girlfriend says I'm great in bed because I can sleep the whole day.
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07-13-2013 19:10
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My life would be so much better if I was dead.
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07-13-2013 19:41
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Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people.
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07-13-2013 19:46
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Too many people confuse "justice" with "revenge."
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07-13-2013 19:54
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I've fallen! And I can't reach my beer!
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07-13-2013 19:56
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Wine is a fruit, right?!
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07-13-2013 20:09 by
Bobo The Chimp
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I'm a better person than I was yesterday, but still not as good as I can be tomorrow
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07-13-2013 21:21 by
frosty
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Surprise jumps on the back is for 160 lbs and under women only.....any thing over is a tackle
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07-13-2013 21:42 by
fadolo
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Companies that are using technology to go paperless aren't putting iPads in the toilet stalls for wiping.
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07-13-2013 21:46
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