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I checked Rosetta Stone, they don't have "Black English" instruction & I don't know who to axe about it? #donlemon 
Wow. The people of Egypt are really going nuts over this Zimmerman trial..
I don't make annoying passive aggressive statuses, unlike some people I know.
I love that part of relationships when people don't know they hate each other yet.
Oh well, this time isn't going to procrastinate itself.
According to my roommate's diary, I have boundary issues.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can't pronounce it.
Whenever a bird poops on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I'm capable of.
Dear women, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest eat a banana.
My grandfather was one-half Cherokee. When he danced it got partly cloudy.
Whenever I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and gently whisper "Who did this to you?"
I once dated a girl who owned a parrot. That crazy thing would never shut up. The parrot was kind of cool, though.
If a little kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Dear Curiosity: Just put the gun down and let's talk this out. Sincerely, The Cat.
doesn't wear a yellow hat when he goes to the zoo because he doesn't want any of the monkeys following him home.
Dear Michelle Obama. The White House is NOT like a prison. American citizens can visit prisons.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
If exercise eliminates excess fat how come some people have double chins?
I'd do anything for you if I can trust you with my pizza.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.!! 