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thinks that Obama may just get into the Guiness Book of World records for "Most People Screwed in a Single Day"... 
WARNING: If you get an email or Facebook message titled "Nude photo of Nancy Pelosi," DO NOT OPEN IT! ...It contains a nude photo of Nancy Pelosi.
Dear Obama: a little diaper logic for you. If it stinks, change it....but you aren't supposed to replace it with another sh*tty one!!!
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."
Shot my first turkey yesterday. . scared the $hit out of everyone in the frozen food section... It was awsome!!!
became a fan of not becoming a fan of everything on facebook.
When a Blind dude & his dog go for a joyride, who dirves?
1f you c4n r34d th1s you r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn't loan them out to strangers.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
I need a Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?
A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
Hand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk.
rejects your reality and substitute my own.
Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes
COME TO THE DORK SIDE...We Have Computers And High-Speed Internet With A Pentium 4 Processor ^_^
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"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
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