BEGO Funny Status Messages

   They really need to add a “download this song illegally” button on Pandora.

   To the guy who named cotton candy: Yes! It looks just like it sounds. To the guy who named Milk Duds: What the hell is wrong with you?

   75% of my regrets involve hitting "send".

   Just because no one liked your "funny" status the first time you posted doesn't mean you should post it 6 more times.

   Just found out it was raining by looking outside. WTF, Facebook? You're supposed to tell me these things first!

   Lazy Rule #19401957294710149: you're so lazy you didn't even finish reading the number.

   I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am alive because i'ma a fighter. I am wise because i've been foolish. and I've laughed because i've known sadness.

   The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.

   I hate it when someone I don't like says something funny.

   I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.

   Teacher: From all this noise I assume you're done working Student: From all this b**ching I assume you're still single

   a LEADER, not a follower... But if we're walking into a creepy dark place, SCREW THAT! You're going first!

   Dear Trash, At least you get picked up...Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore

   Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shutSincerely, Every iPhone User .

   Commitment doesn't scare me, the thought of committing to the wrong person does.

   It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

   How come the week always lasts longer than the money you have?

   I'll never forget from my EX last words: "Are you sure I don't need a parachute?"

   Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They're treated like children, and expected to act like adults.

   A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him.