g0re Funny Status Messages

   How come we always hear about what's happening on Wall Street and Main Street. What about what's happening on Sesame Street? People live in trash cans there.

   Since Congress declared that pizza is a vegetable you wouldn't be surprised if they made mayonnaise an instrument

   The girls at Hooters may be hot, but when it comes down to it, the girls at Subway are the real wife material.

   Life is all about ass, everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one :)

   It'd be interesting to see statistics of your life after you die. Like, what joke you found the funniest, how many times you smiled, how many times you laughed, how many times you lied, or how many people you loved.

   If whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, then the life of someone who lives there must become a void once they leave town.

   Wouldn't it stink if there were thousands of other planets that had life, and we on Earth were the ONLY ones who didn't know? And we were the butt of aliens' jokes, i.e. "You're stupid as an Earthling."

   When life hands you high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, ascorbic acid, maltodextrin, sodium acid pyrophosphate, magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, yellow 5, tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavors...make lemonade.

   Welcome to High School. Pick 2- Good Grades, Enough Sleep, or a Social Life

   It's a weird feeling when you can't remember if something happened in a dream or in real life.

   I would love to hear more music that is not about sex or even love, because there is other stuff in life.

   There's always that one person who's life you can watch fall apart through facebook statuse$

   It's a facebook status, not an opportunity to spill your whole life story and look for everybody's pity

   I HATE the commercials that try to connect their product to a virtue of life, such as "Mayo....because everyone appreciates being with family." I could be with my family without Mayo, thanks

   If they shut down facebook, people would be roaming the streets in tears , shoving pictures of themselves in other people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!".

   Thank god Facebook is back up. I've had to phone 247 of my friends to tell them 'I hate work, I'm having a glass of water and going to bed, lol'. It's taken me all night!

   If facebook had an anonymous button, then all hell would break loose.

   He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good… Sounds like Santa's got a Facebook.

   *Logs onto FaceBook and reads* 5 song lyrics, 2 people telling what they're doing right then at that very moment, 3 stupid pictures of food or funny faces, 4 attempts at a witty remark, 1 truly funny witty remark, and a person who likes 75 pages.

   Someone should invent a bra that plays music so girls can't complain that guys always stare at their boobs and never listen to them.