Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Success is not defined by obtaining everything you want, but by appreciating everything you have.

   thinking we could use a "No-Bail Please!" Prize in this country....

   insured by Smith and Wesson

   WHATEVER !!!! - Finally,brethren,whatever is true,whatever is honorable,w'ever,is right,whatever is pure,whatever is lovely,whatever is of good repute,if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise,let your mind dwell on these things.Phil 4:8

   There is no such thing as government money, only taxpayer money.

   wondering whether Lady Gaga dresses up like a normal person when it's halloween.

   if I had to have both my arms amputated I'd just shrug it off.

   Do you realise that in 40 years time,there will be alot of old ladies walking around with tatoos

   Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me...It's Sunday.

   THERES A VAN ACROSS THE STREET THAT SAYS "FREE CANDY" I WONDER IF THEY HAVE TOOTSIE POPS....IM GOING TO CHECK! :)

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   coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

   scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today's status.

   Never argue with an idiot,they drag you down to thr level than beat you with experience

   has never given much credence to holidays given to directionally challenged Italians, but this year he has decided that Columbus shall be a work holiday!!!

   Playing hide and seek with boredom... I found it!

   While stepping over the broken bodies and blood spattered glass, my heart sank as I suddenly realized that the burrito shop was closed.

   would like to thank his liver for all the support, this weekend . . . Couldnt have done it without you, old friend !

   ..hates her internal clock. It doesn't have a snooze button and it hurts to throw herself across the room..

   not perfect, but He still loves me, Not good enough but she still hugs me, NOT Bill Gates but they still mug me!