Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   In certain circumstances, I happen to see A LOT wrong with a little bump and grind.

   Time sure flies when your drunker than hell.

   Why is a school zone speed limit 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.

   thought I'd come across a mass grave of about 1,000 snowmen yesterday. Turns out it was just a field of carrots

   may be having a bad hair day, but it looks like you're having a bad face life.

   segregation will not end until they start putting #2 pencils in the same boxes as colored pencils.

   A woman's work is never done. Maybe that's why they get paid less?

   Why aren't martini glasses shaped so that they don't spill so easily on the express bus?

   She's going to face the music and I'm gunna be the one playing it

   Chris Brown must be making a new album, because he is going over his greatest hits with the judge tomorrow?

   And on Friday God created alcohol, and Adam was happy. It had been a long first week with Eve!

   jumping out the window, who's with me?

   gave up drinking and smoking... Worst ten minutes of my life.

   Don't count the seconds... Make every second count...

   just finished his studies as in an Analyst and Therapist, and is not a fully qualifies Analrapist

   I bought a cabin on a lake.... but there are signs all over my side of the lake saying "NO WAKE ZONE"...... now I am afraid to go to sleep.

   your guiding light because as the world turns we are the young and the restless with only have one life to live throughout the days of our lives because all my children will be born at general hospital.

   went to Facebook and all I got was this stupid status message.

   WARNING: GIVEADAMN.exe failed to load. Operation aborted.

   revenge is a dish best served with fava beans and chianti