Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   It's as hot as a marathon runner's jockstrap

   The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it

   She was that excited she slipped off of the chair

   She's been up and down more times than a whore's drawers

   She's seen more ceilings than Michelagelo.

   She's got so many children she's multiplying quicker than a calculator

   thinks some women end up getting excited over nothing... then they end up marrying him

   disappointed in AJ. She thought he was creative...

   playing with himself.....legos are awesome!

   needs to be like 'NIKE' and just do it!

   not lazy, he's just phsycially conservative.

   celebrating Take Your Hamster to Work Day ...

   thinking the sun is out might just work on my six pack!!!ithey should be cold enough now

   The Woman.......A mystery that will never be solved.

   doesn't want a happy ending... that implies something has to end. Me... I want a fantastic right now!

   Comes to earth when mars gets boring

   counted to infinity - twice.

   would be serving a dime if being fine was a crime

   highly recommended and there's no need for a second opinion.

   thinking about starting a puppy mill and marketing the dogs as "Free Range Puppies". Pure Genius!!!!!