Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   when I die I want to be thrown out of an aeroplane wearing a superman costume

   exaggerations went up a million percent last year

   wonders how wrinkles and pimples can live in such sweet harmony on one persons face.

   looks good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone, come see how good I look!

   wonders if I break the law of physics, is there jail time?

   I don't speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.

   an organ donor. Need anything?

   doing the Time Warp... again!

   Alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

   two people away from a threesome

   s glad to know that there are still good human beings around ! :)

   thinks: The greatest pleasure in life is "not" doing what people say you can do.I call it the middle finger logic.

   wishing that the gnomes would return my stuff!

   doesnt understand the big deal over bees knees. I looked at them under a microscope, nothing exciting!

   Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning "bad hunter."

   we had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

   Figured I'm pretty smart--it took me all summer, but.. I found all the paw-prints, put them in my notebook, sat down in my thinking chair...& ... I just figured out Blue's Clues & what it's all about!

   Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?

   Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together?

   Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?