Funny Status Messages

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   celebrates diversity by watching porn with lesbians, midgets and a bit of black on white action!

   You can always get more with a kind word and a 2-by-4 than with just a kind word

   moving with his auntie and uncle in bel-air

   tired of counting down to the next weekend or vacation so.... only 8,245 days until retirement Woohoo!!

   currently practicing one inch punch on an innocent colleague.

   thinks he is going to adopt an African child, but he isn't going to be like Angelina Jolie and just adopt willy nilly, if he goes over there, he is coming back with a wide receiver or running back.

   thinks if he were a fighter pilot, his call sign would have to be "Hot Wings".

   says love is very deep but sex is just one inch deep

   wonders why is the iphone called so when eveybody has it.

   poking you with a spork !

   uses the lyrics from a top piece of music and interpersed it into my status. It just goes to show you what a Big Fat Phooney I am!

   amazed that my 2 yr old can open more "child proof" things than I can... :S

   keeps gettin' richer, but he can't get his picture .........on the cover of the Rolling Stone!!

   thinks the hackers should've tried a little harder when trying to remove Twitter from this universe

   sorry he was late, but had a penalty shoot-out with the ghost of a flea!

   has blown it! He was caught sifting mud from his trouser leg and it's back to the can for me. You probably won't hear from me for a few weeks. Goodbye (and good luck with tunnel B)

   duct tape is like violence: If it's not working, you're not using enough of it.

   marriage? no thanks I can't mate in captivity.

   life is a bridge; cross over it, but don't build a house on it