Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   back from commercial break and can now resume ignoring his wife.

   My dream is to be an alcoholic and unemployed. Oh sh*t wait a minute my dream came true 5 months ago.

   like Doug's friends Skeeter whenever I meet her cuz I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise!

   just found out the difference between kinky and erotic..erotic was the use of the feather..kinky was the whole damn chicken

   can single-handedly make all your dreams come true...or I could use two hands.

   It takes 2 to Tango, but a whole bunch of people to do the Electric Slide.

   learned a lot about relationships from Super Mario Bros.....sometimes, You have to pound a few Dragons to get to the Princess

   started taking Gingko Biloba pills to improve his Memory...but, he keeps forgetting to take them!

   out for a morning ride.. on my pet giraffe

   starting to get nervous about Y3K

   like ice cream. smooth, cool, and goes down easy.

   gonna pay tribute to the recently deceased Michael Jackson and "beat it " before he goes to sleep.

   Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

   Saving alot on my car insurance by deciding to drive without it...

   might be schizophrenic; but at least I'll always have each other

   Do I look like a freakin' people person?

   Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

   I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.

   Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

   This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.