Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   For Sale: (year you were born here) (your name here). Has a lot of mileage, but still rides like a dream.

   Earth is full. Go home.

   I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

   wonders if a guy stands up in church to disagree with the priest...is he called a mass debator?

   reporting live from Suburbia. Where they cut down all the trees and name roads after them.

   T.V man came to the door. He said. You got a TV licence? I said no. Well you've got a Ariel he said. I replied I've milk in the fridge to but don't have a cow.

   if you die in a elevator....press the UP button!

   if NFL doesn't want Michael Vick back....my local animal shelter is looking for a pooper scooper!

   Doesn't have a drinking problem, he drinks he, gets drunk, he falls down, no probablem....

   converting oxygen into carbon dioxide...come to think of it...so are you!!! GREAT LUNGS THINK ALIKE!

   wondering what would happen if he wrote, "For Marijuana" in the memo field of all his checks? ...

   .....Squirrels: Nature's Little Speed Bumps!

   things could be worse ya know....Sex COULD be fattening!

   on safari lookin at lions. I was on firefox lookin at porn.

   THE BIG Issue would sell a lot more copies if they made their vendors smarten up a bit. Most of them look like tramps.

   The FIA are constantly looking for ways to slow down modern Formula 1 cars, why haven't they tried wrapping hair and fluff around the rear wheel axles? It used to work on my Scalextric

   Obviously delicious. Secretly nutritious .

   : Everyone wants to be happy, nobody wants to be in pain but you can't have a rainbow without any rain ..

   arm wrestling the KOOL-AID guy...he's strong! He must be drinking MILK!

   says learning Linux isn't just easy, it's fun, too! Actual shell commands: "unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; umount; sleep"... ahhh the subtle beauty of UNIX.