mullerman Funny Status Messages

   wondering...have you ever felt like a fire hydrant and all your friends were dogs?

   singing...I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go....

   says if you want to feel skinny, hang out with a group of fat people.

   thinks that friends are the most important part of your life. Treasure the tears, treasure the laughter, but most importantly, treasure the memories

   thinks Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

   thinks a foolish husband gives his wife an old piano. A wise husband gives her an upright organ!

   poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

   says, forgive your enemies, but remember their names.

   A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids

   says, I love work. I can sit and watch it all day.

   wants you to think of the word "Politics". Poly means "many" and "ticks" are blood sucking creatures.

   annoyed that he can't play UNO. The Mexican's keep stealing my green cards.

   thinks the most used sexual position amoung married couples is doggy style, the husband sits and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

   just found out that Lindsey Vonn had her gold medal taken away by Obama. The reason is that he is going down hill faster than she did.

   wants you to remember the "Golden Rule"....whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

   “We don't stop laughing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop laughing”

   thinks that everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

   How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

   my cross-eyed teacher has a hard time keeping his pupils straight.

   loves long walks...especially when taken by people who annoy me.