Baddie Funny Status Messages

   Ugly people with beautiful babies should be investigated for child kidnapping.

   Your Girlfriend's not listening to you? There's a slap for that.

   Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van.

   Fact: Women are the leading cause of herpes. How do I know? It isn't called "HISpes" is it?

   FACT: Handicapped parking spaces to handicapped drivers ratio is way too high.

   I don't know why it's so hard for ugly people to get laid. Just get together with each other. Problem solved.

   I am done making fun of fat people, they have enough on their plate already.

   My girlfriend said she's sick of me 'always being RIGHT'.... So I LEFT

   Do strippers have nightmares about going to work fully clothed?

   Demi Moore's next husband is swimming around in Justin Bieber's balls right now.

   Gay people are such immaculate dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet.

   Big girls don't cry. (They eat)

   LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.

   Hey Rihanna, do you mind if me if me, Lil Wayne, Drake & the guys skateboard on your forehead?

   Never trust a woman with smelly armpits.

   Some people can rely on their personality for birth control.

   I bought a used sex doll. I like a woman with experience.

   You can tell some girls are sluts because you can smell it through their Facebook photos.

   When playing Modern Warfare 3 video game, is the menu suppose to…okay, I guess by now the girls have stopped reading. So fellas, any of you out there get nervous when make up sex starts with a BJ?

   Fellas: She exercises with a Shake Weight to perfect her hand job, marry her