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I do not have attention deficit disorder. I have what you're saying is boring the sh*t out of me disorder.
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3
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07-12-2010 11:34 by
Joser
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0
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Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
68
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07-15-2010 17:55 by
Joser
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I got a letter from the college I graduated from... I hope it's a refund check for my murdered dreams.
60
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04-30-2010 18:50 by
Joser
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Yes acupuncture is an "ancient technique." Other "ancient techniques" included leeches and dying from plague. I'm good with drugs thanks.
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04-28-2010 18:11 by
Joser
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It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
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05-05-2010 12:15 by
Joser
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0
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I just saw a man disconnect his oxygen tank before he lit his cigarette. Safety first.
71
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05-10-2010 14:02 by
Joser
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1
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The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.
164
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05-23-2010 22:16 by
Joser
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0
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Yes, I realize I'm leaving early. But don't forget, I also came in late.
35
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06-24-2010 23:27 by
Joser
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I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
29
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07-13-2010 18:14 by
Joser
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TIP: If you've forgotten your Bluetooth headset, wearing sunglasses indoors is an equally effective douchebag indicator.
179
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05-13-2010 10:57 by
Joser
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Don't worry I won't tell anyone.. and if I do, I'll tell them not to tell anyone.
121
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05-26-2010 19:43 by
Joser
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1
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Vodka is made from potatoes. Which means once upon a time, someone looked a potato and figured out how to drink it, Genius!
69
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04-19-2010 18:47 by
Joser
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Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window
23
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04-28-2010 22:29 by
Joser
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Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
86
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04-23-2010 13:30 by
Joser
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Tip: if you're going to call out sick, make sure your co-workers aren't your FB friends and can see the pics you posted drunk last night
86
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06-28-2010 21:16 by
Joser
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0
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We have 50 friends in common and I still have no idea who the hell you are
86
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07-13-2010 18:08 by
Joser
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Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
229
40
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06-03-2010 13:18 by
Joser
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0
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If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I'm just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills. I should be fine.
183
32
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06-07-2010 12:42 by
Joser
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0
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What's another word for word?
40
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05-14-2010 18:57 by
Joser
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2
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I sympathize a lot with Darth Vader because he had so much trouble juggling career and family.
40
7
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05-14-2010 19:00 by
Joser
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