ptv Funny Status Messages

   I was grateful for the fact that Facebook now groups similar posts (i.e. "10 of your friends posted about Valentine's Day"), so I can just skip past them. Unfortunately, I have friends that can't spell 'Valentine'. LOL

   Here's a drinking game for you; take a drink every time someone posts "happy new year" on your Facebook. Make sure you aren't driving after this game because you will likely have too many friends stating the obvious.

   So is it the 3rd or 4th refill of water into the nearly empty liquid soap bottle that makes you ghetto?

   Whenever you feel like an idiot, just remember that flushing the toilet correctly already makes you less of an idiot than someone else

   Drinking; for those times where the most economical choice is a vacation that's close to home

   I don't always delete people from facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend me and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends

   hey look on the bright side LeBron. you have all those endorsement deals including the one who just called for you. wants you to be the new face of the board game "sorry"

   I like how Facebook tells me I found these friends using their friend finder. um no I found these friends before I had hair on my balls back when I could have been rich had I thought of Facebook

   That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked

   A thunderstorm is God's way of saying his electronics will always be better than yours

   Look at it this way; if the world's meant to end in 2012, at least you won't have to pay $10/gal for gas

   I can use facebook for things other than finding a partner now that I can count on the gas pump to screw me

   I had this crazy dream that I was on facebook writing about how I hate my insomnia. Oh wait (posted at 2am)

   I feel like a ninja when I wish people happy birthday on Facebook at 12:01am

   Walk into kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote you lost 30 minutes ago

   wondering if there's a business in Facebook psych evaluation? after reading status after status you would think instead if it saying "what's on your mind?" it says "how crazy do you want your friends to think you are?"

   My condolences to Snoop and the rest of the Dogg family. RIP Nate Dogg

   If you don't have a love in your life, don't worry. If you keep living a life with no regrets, either your love will come or someone will regret living their life without you.

   I can usually figure out many parties I've been to lately by counting the extra lighters I woke up with in my pocket.

   If only Dave Chappelle was still around to say "I'm Charlie Sheen b*tch. It's a celebration b*tches."