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Tommy Chevelle Funny Status Messages
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You should never judge a person by how clean the inside of their microwave is.
35
7
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09-14-2014 11:45 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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All day I've been getting calls from the number "1"... I finally answered it and NO ONE was there.
5
14
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05-08-2013 14:58 by
Tommy Chevelle
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How the hell do hundreds of male Smurfs live with only ONE female smurf? It's no wonder they're BLUE!
84
15
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05-06-2013 10:41 by
Tommy Chevelle
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1
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One of the hardest things I ever had to do as a kid was OPEN a Band-Aid with a cut finger... using a stupid red string.
22
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03-25-2013 12:28 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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Apparently, you no longer have to be 21 to consume Budweiser!
8
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02-27-2013 10:48 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
58
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01-31-2013 15:26 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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Hi, I'm Tom Bodet for Motel 6. We'll leave the LYSOL.
19
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01-02-2013 12:34 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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I'll never forget the awesome feeling in kindergarten when I had the largest box of crayons with the sharpener.
46
11
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11-14-2012 22:19 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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You know you're getting old when the faster you move... the more you forget!
17
5
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11-07-2012 10:03 by
Tommy Chevelle
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I'm glad that "worchestershire" isn't a word we have to use everyday! I would appear retarded.
34
9
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10-17-2012 09:55 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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A real man should never wave faster than he SAYS the word "hey"
27
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10-15-2012 22:45 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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When someone yells STOP, I don't know if it's In the Name of Love, it's Hammertime, or that I should Stop, Collaborate, and Listen.
29
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10-04-2012 11:05 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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I've done more today than I've done in 4 years.
26
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02-29-2012 20:07 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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Gas diet: Get your paycheck... fill up your car and you have no money to buy food! Bam...you lose weight!
71
13
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04-29-2011 15:20 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee...so I pulled over and fertilized your crops.
59
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04-25-2011 20:45 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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I will abide by every single law and regulation while driving...not because I'm a good driver, but because there's a COP behind me.
19
5
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03-17-2011 16:51 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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prostitutes have the best job! They SELL their body.... and then they get to keep it!
27
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03-11-2011 12:31 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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I had a FULL SLAB of chicken RIBS for lunch, and I'm still hungry.
27
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02-17-2011 14:06 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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when I got pulled over, the cop said he clocked me doing 75 mph in 55 mph zone. I asked "WHERE D'YA GET THAT APP?"
46
9
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02-14-2011 17:49 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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when I was a little kid, we didn't have cool video games to occupy us for hours... if I had a ROCK and a roll of CAPS...It was a Good Day!
98
17
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02-09-2011 12:26 by
Tommy Chevelle
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0
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