ANGELA Funny Status Messages

   I wonder what comes out when you vomit in a brita filter

   Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

   Just plead the Fifth -- or drink it -- either way.

   Excellent time to become a missing person.

   Test tube babies shouldn't throw stones.

   If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.

   It's 2011, you think we would have toothpaste the doesn't ruin orange juice by now.

   How awkward do you think Prince William's stag is going to be when he realizes he's stuffing pictures of his Gran into a strippers thong?

   So when your sexting...do you get a phoner?

   I didnt fall for you...i tripped and fell cause your to ugly!!

   aim for the moon, if you miss youll be among the stars"..then pressure & lack of o2 will make your as@hole explode out of your nostrils.

   Its pretty sad I have to put parental controls on Google just to get pumpkin ideas.. Do not Google anything ending with "on a broom".

   wonders “Why its called a walkie talkie, yet a vacuum isn't called a pushy sucky???”

   if common sense was made out of chocolate you wouldnt have enought to fill a smartie...

   am I the only one who gets the urge to kick small children when I see them walking really slowly in front of me?

   The mullet is a helmet for domestic violence.

   Laundry, my old nemesis…so we meet again. And I see you have brought your sidekick, Dirty Dishes with you. Well played evil villian, well played.

   **when I die don't write "R.I.P" on my grave. . write "B.R.B"**

   has just realized it doesnt matter if the glass is half empty or half full...either way it just means there is still room for more vodka!

   Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.