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If aliens landed & saw Glenn Beck, they'd be like, "Oh, he has a show here too?"
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04-13-2010 00:49 by
jdpower
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According to Apple, 300,000 people did not have sex this weekend.
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04-13-2010 00:49 by
jdpower
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Just ONE Saturday night I'd like to go without drunk-dialing Barbara Walters.
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04-13-2010 00:51 by
jdpower
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Sarah Palin probably thinks Obama's drilling plan doesn't go far enough in terms of wrecking the environment.
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04-13-2010 00:52 by
jdpower
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I wonder if the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks by claiming all his appendages were "elephant-sized".....
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04-13-2010 00:53 by
jdpower
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Ricky Martin has answered the question, "Are you gay?". But for many, another question remains: "Who's Ricky Martin?"
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04-13-2010 00:55 by
jdpower
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The most stunning thing about Obama's nuclear announcement was that we have a President who can pronounce "nuclear."
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04-13-2010 00:58 by
jdpower
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I could never bring myself to kill....however, I do have a list of some pretty sweet hiding spots.
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04-13-2010 00:59 by
jdpower
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Which is the best new slur for hipsters: Fauxhemian or Doucheoisie? I'm thinking Doucheoisie.
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04-13-2010 01:00 by
jdpower
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We may lag behind the Chinese in math and science, but we are absolutely kicking their butts in the tattooed homewreckers category.
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04-13-2010 01:02 by
jdpower
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if court experience is a must for Obama's Supreme Court selection... I say go with Charlie Sheen
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04-27-2010 12:18 by
jdpower
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Roethlisberger has been suspended, which means that the NFL has a stricter policy on sex abuse than the Vatican
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04-27-2010 13:14 by
jdpower
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Pat Robertson is now blaming the oil spill in The Gulf of Mexico on promiscuous dinosaurs.
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05-04-2010 14:03 by
jdpower
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If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
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05-06-2010 16:01 by
jdpower
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New York Times reports Neanderthals mated with humans thousands of years before "Jersey Shore."
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05-07-2010 12:34 by
jdpower
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Dear Mr. Ice Cream man: Please change your song.. That sh!t was played out in the 80's
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05-16-2010 22:54 by
jdpower
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So I guess the movie 'Armageddon' shows that oil workers are better at destroying asteroids than stopping oil leaks
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05-18-2010 11:57 by
jdpower
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Richard Blumenthal clarifies - he served at 'Vie et Nam' a restaurant in Greenwich
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05-18-2010 17:41 by
jdpower
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Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
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05-19-2010 00:37 by
jdpower
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Megan Fox will not be acting in Transformers 3. So, no change from Transformers 1 and 2.
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05-21-2010 01:51 by
jdpower
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